To those who have bullied me into the woman I am today

I have made so many mistakes in my life. I have been unkind to people & I have done things that I regret and am not proud of. I own that completely. For the most part I have tried to make amends and apologize for my actions. I have felt guilt over situations that were out of my control, I’ve even apologized and truly felt sorry about issues that I was not at fault for. I have tried the best I can (with a few exceptions) to just be a good person. But as a human, we are just meant to make mistakes.

Some people will never show you the good in them –

I have lived the majority of my life believing there is always good in everyone. Forgetting one truth, some people will never show you the good in them.

Some people will choose not to be kind to you, some people will judge you no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try and the efforts you make, some people will never treat you with respect and will dislike you for no good reason or cause . Yet, in everyone else’s eyes, the person who has treated you with such cunning and cruel behaviour will be considered to be a kind, gentle and good-hearted person. Everyone else has seen the good side to this person, all whilst they will never show you the good side of them.

You manipulated everyone into believing that I was the villain –

At the end of the day, this is their choice and I can’t change that. The people who believe that and the people who believe this cruel person will never accept that the good hearted person that they think they know is the enemy in your life simply because no one else’s has seen that side to them. And suddenly, you become the bad guy.

Some people will go to great lengths to make you a villain, even when you aren’t. Even when it’s actually literally the opposite. And there’s nothing you can do about it. Nothing you can do but stand on your feet and remain true to yourself. For a while there I felt so hurt by your bullying that I would cry.

But I have changed –

Since giving birth to my son, my outlook on things have shifted in a completely different direction. I have found that the more you expect people to be kind to you, the more you will live in disappointment.

The more you believe that there is good in everyone, the less you will find. The more trust and respect you put in others, the less you will get in return. Why? I will never understand but these lessons are one I am thankful for.

I let go of any toxic person in my life –

I have found my voice and love myself enough to stop allowing people to treat me like a doormat. I have stopped going out of my way to be kind to people who don’t care for and value me. I have stopped pushing myself on to people and hoping they will like me for me, I have stopped trying to make myself a part of the lives of people who won’t make a single effort to be in mine. I don’t go to lunch with people who ignore me. I don’t text people back after they insult me and my husband or children. I don’t respond to threats. I don’t go to every argument I’m invited to. I don’t try to be family to people who talk down to me, and try to make me feel small. I don’t show up for people who don’t show up for me. I block people who are disrespectful to me, my son, and our lifestyle. I choose not to engage when I am tested by narcissists. I choose not to be around people who exclude me, and hold their breath until I walk out of the room so they can spew lies due to hatred, jealousy & just flat out delusions.

So to the bullies who helped me grow into the woman that I am today… Thank you –

Since removing these toxic people and since finding my true self worth, life has been simpler, my days have been happier, my stress levels have dropped down significantly. I spend my time with people who reciprocate the feelings that I have. I feel loved, I feel respected, I feel content and I feel complete. Im happy, and it’s no longer based on what someone else thinks about me or my life. I’m done trying to live up to everyone else’s expectations of who I am supposed to be or what they want from me.

I have learned a lot through your disrespect and bullying towards me and for that I am thankful. It has been a rough road but I have come out stronger than you will ever be. Whilst you’re unhappy and spreading negatively, I am moving forward with this new positive life that I and I alone own. I realise now that I never needed your approval or love, I needed to let go of worrying what other thinks and I learned that all I needed was to approve and love myself and the rest will fall into place. You have lost your control, you don’t get to choose who I am, I do.

I make my own choices, and I will always CHOOSE METhis article was written by Stephanie Welch. Stephanie has is a mother that spends her free time advocating for those suffering chronic/mental illness. You can find her at her instagram.