This is what happens when you don’t teach your kids the importance of the power that our words and actions hold. These are the side effects of trauma and bullying. This is what happens when you project your hate and insecurities onto others. This is what happens when you can’t comprehend the the fact that your words have the ability to save or take a life. This right here, this is what childhood anxiety looks like and it’s f****** gut wrenching.
I am aware that this article is all over the place but parents, grandparents, care givers, get your f****** shit together. Teach your kids to be kind, to demonstrate respect, encouragement, support and compassion. Allow them to feel and acknowledge what they feel. Don’t just hear them, but be present and listen to your children. Pay attention to their behaviour. Give a f****** shit about what matters to them, care about how they feel and not how you THINK they should feel.
Be open to adapting to the fact that you grew up in a different day and age. Let go of your unrealistic expectations and stop punishing your kids for being human. Stop with the ignorant comments saying “boys don’t cry” or “boys are meant to be tough” because now my son is suffering from the aftermath of your child bottling up big emotions that are too heavy to carry on their own. Make space for your children to speak openly and safely, without judgement or dismal or their feelings. Stop holding your kids to a higher standard of “perfection” that we as adults can’t even attain ourselves!
From one mother to another, please listen.
These are CHILDREN who are going through the biggest developmental stages of their lives. They are learning how to self regulate, how to manage big emotions, hormonal changes, managing their own social lives and life experiences. All whilst learning through you. How you behave, how you speak to both yourself and others, how you handle conflict and your own personal emotions matters equally as much as how you speak to your children.
Your children learn through YOU.
YOU set the tone for them. YOU become your child’s inner voice, don’t become their inner critic or reason to lash out on others.
I am not sitting here telling you that if your child has bullied someone that it’s your fault. There is no such thing as “perfect” parenting, but what I am trying to tell you is that the biggest mistake we make in life is thinking that we have time. We don’t. Use this time to guide your children, to listen to them, to understand them, to provide a safe and trusting place for them to express themselves freely. I’m sure I don’t need to remind you that we are raising the next generation. So lets raise them f****** right! Raise them to be kind and compassionate.
There are only two things that we can never take back… Our time and our words.
This is your reminder to use them wisely. Stop making excuses. Hold yourself accountable, you are never too old to change old stigmas, thoughts and behaviours. Work on self healing, commit to self growth, be better and do better. If not for yourself, do it for your kids and if not for them, please do it for mine.
Rant over 🎤