To my husband on our anniversary
The vows I never read out on our wedding day. They were far too long, and anyone who knows me knows that I could go on for hours writing, rambling and repeating myself when deep in thought. The original vows below prove my point!
Although the vows that I said on our wedding day were still fairly long (sorry about that) thankfully we had our amazing celebrant Paul Bonadio to help me trim this original version down.
So to my husband, if you’re reading this
Happy anniversary to my soul mate & best friend!
While you’re at work right now, I just put a load of washing on and am wondering what I can give you for our anniversary. No material item will ever come close to the value of my love for you. I have been thinking about what to give you over the last few weeks. Other than a handmade yet heartfelt surprise that you will receive once you’re home, what can I give to someone that deserves so much more than I have to offer. So I finally thought about this. What better way to declare my love for you than to scream it from the rooftops and share it for the world to see, especially on this page that you know means so much to me.
Hopefully, this makes up for the anniversary we shared last year with me in hospital (sorry, again)
Literally through sickness and in health right?
Enjoy these unsaid vows that I have kept aside for all of these years and know that the only thing that has changed since I wrote these vows, is the fact that my love and appreciation for you has grown.
I know that vows are meant to be made to each other but I want to take a quick moment to say a few important vows that I make to my new family.
To the family I am marrying into, I promise to love you as my own, Christian, Taylor and Joshy, even before this day I have always loved you as my own niece and nephews. You are all are such bright and fun children and I am so lucky to have you in my life. I love all three of you so much that I struggle to put it into words without crying. I promise that no matter how old you guys get if you ever want to play games and drive your Nonna and Mother crazy by making a forte in the lounge room, I am there!
Dominic and Carmel, my father and mother-in-law. I may not be able to promise you the perfect daughter-in-law, but what I can promise is that I love your son. I will treat both him and your family with nothing less than the respect that you deserve. I promise I will never hurt your son & everything I do will be in good nature. You will never have to question my intentions or my love for you boy. You have raised a strong man, one that has stood by me through it all and one that has taken on the role of Daddy so effortlessly, and even though he barely knows how to use a microwave, I thank you, because of your great parenting Mark is a respectful loving man. He is kind-hearted and he is a great father and for that, I am sure you’re proud. Carmel and Dominic, I promise I will never let mark get his car tuned, no matter how much he hates me for it. And Carmel, I will never ever dare to attempt to make pasta sauce better than yours, after all, I’m sure by now we all know that Nonna truly does make the BEST sauce and no attempt anyone makes will ever compare.
Dominic, Carmel, Michelle, Christian, Taylor, and josh, I hope you know that I love each and everyone one of you and I hope you’re as proud as I am when I say “this is my family”
Mark, I know you struggled with your vows and I’m sorry this is long, I know you hate when I write ten-page long cards for your birthdays but I have tried to add in everything that matters to me on this day whilst also trying to keep it short. And yes! This is the short version! So bare with me because I never imagined I would be here today able to say all of this.
Having Rikki, our son, by our side has been the most emotional part by far. Of all things, I’m sure you all know the bond Rikki and I have, yet it came with no effort to let you in, no hesitations. You have been there to teach him how to ride a bike, you went to every soccer game, you have been there for his first day of kinder, first day of school, the horrid toilet training that felt like it took forever! The arguments and tantrums. You have been there to help overcome his fear of water and are always there to make him laugh until it hurts. You have been there for all of the important milestones of his life as a father should be there for and for this Mark, I could never thank you enough. You’re an amazing father to both our children Rikki and Tiana, and I need you to know that above everything else, I appreciate that more than anything.
I felt an instant connection when we met and not long after I just knew you were the one. It started with a simple conversation. I was telling you that I am looking for a new car, you said you were selling your BMW X5. I then proceeded to say “no thanks, I need a family car” in which you responded, “babe do you even know what an x5 is?”
Safe to say I felt stupid after I googled it was a 4×4, quite frankly the perfect family car! Not long after we had our first date at a small local Greek coffee shop and little did we know that years later we would be standing here today with our own family AND a family car!
I was cold to start with, almost rude, I was barley giving you the time of day when we first started to chat. But you didn’t judge me and you persisted with trying to hold a conversation with my one-word answers, again, you never judged me for being standoffish, you never judged my past, you accepted me wholeheartedly and you accepted Rikki. We have been through the wringer, whether it be family struggles or my health complications in which again, I am so grateful for. You remained by my side and held my hand through the worst of times, and through it all, we have stood by each other. I now know that no future obstacles we face will ever be strong enough to break us, simply because I can stand here today and say with full confidence that we truly are united.
In you, I have found not only my life long partner but a father to our son, a father to our daughter and most importantly, I gained a best friend.
I promise I will always try to keep my cool when you tell me this will be “the last car” you buy because God knows your cars don’t last more than 2 years.
I promise I will always love your family as my own and treat them with nothing less than respect. I promise I will be the best mother that I can be to our children.
I promise I will love every part of you, and when I say every part, I mean the deep lion snoring as well. I promise I will stand by you through it all as you have for me.
I promise that you can play FIFA without my complaining, within reason though. You can’t just go turn the kid’s movie off that they are in the middle of watching just because you want to play!
Now I’m sorry if I cry as I read this to you today but I may not ever be able to put into words just how much I really do love and appreciate you, but I promise, I will spend the rest of my life trying to show you.
I can’t promise I will fix all your problems, but I do promise you will never have to face them alone. I can’t promise every night of home-cooked meals, but I do promise that I will drive to pick up Nandos on the rare occasion or call your mum to see if she has pasta sauce. I can’t promise I will always make you laugh, but I can promise that I will laugh at my own jokes to make up for it.
I can’t promise a perfect relationship with no disagreements or differences, but I do promise we will work through them together and I will say sorry when I am wrong….
But we both know I’m never really wrong 🙊
To you, I vow to always be your best friend, I promise to encourage you, to challenge you and to inspire you to be the best person that you can be.
I vow that within everything I do, it will always be with good and pure intentions.
I vow to love you through the best of times and through the worst.
I promise I will always keep trying.
I will forever be there with you to lift you up when you’re down and I will always support and respect you without a second thought.
You have taught me the true meaning of love and you have made me realise that I have never truly loved until I met you. There are a few things that I have learned over the years, Mark. I learned the difference between love & Infatuation.
They say love is blind, but I would now have to disagree. I have learned that Infatuation is blind, but love? Love is all-seeing and accepting, love is seeing all flaws and blemishes and accepting them. Love is accepting the bad habits and mannerisms but finding ways to work around them. Love is not losing your cool when you hear the words “this will be the last car I buy”
Love is recognising fears and insecurities and knowing that your role as a partner is to comfort. Love is working through all the challenges and painful times.
Infatuation, however, is fragile and shatters when life is not perfect, but love? Love is strong, and it continuously strengthens simply because it’s real.
I have also learned that love is not practical, it isn’t meant to be easy and it doesn’t appear on command. It doesn’t let you fall for whomever you like, it surfaces neither at the most opportune moment nor in the most convenient. It will pair you with someone you might never have expected. It will put you face to face with endless obstacles but in the end, none of that will matter, because I have learned that it’s how you overcome its obstacles that will define your love.
It may not be practical but love is ultimately the best thing that has ever happen to me. I have also learned that you’re the most impatient person I know, you are proud of your loud disgusting farts, you would rather play FIFA than leave the house and do something proactive. You are the only person I know who can fall asleep within under 60 seconds, which is usually before the kids are in bed. I have also learned that we need to distance ourselves from you when you are trying to put something together from IKEA, but overall… you go pretty alright.
There are no other ways to put into words how I feel other than to say that I love you more than Nutella and more than all of the episodes of the trash I watch on T.V put together.
Mark, I didn’t fall in love with you, I walked into love WITH you. Together, we built this relationship into what it is today.
With our eyes wide open we both chose to take every step along the way together. Hand in hand, we built this solid foundation that we stand on today. Not only within our relationship but also within our family and our home.
I do believe in fate & destiny, but I also believe that we are only feted to the things that we choose to let in our lives, and I choose you.
I will always choose you.
In other words, I guess what I’m trying to say is, if I were a cat I would spend all my 9 lives with you.
I do love you, and I love you with everything that I have.
I’m not marrying you simply because I can live with you, I am marrying you because I can not live without you.
If I ever did anything right in my life, it was when I opened up mine and Rikki’s world to you.
I love you with all that I have and I will for the rest of my life.
Shout out to ;
Paul Bonadio – Our hilarious and compassionate Celebrant.
Wedding Hire Melbourne – for their patience & amazing set-up.
Steve Koukoulas – Our incredibly funny and talented photographer.
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One thought on “The vows I never shared on our wedding day.”
I hope one day I find love just like the love you both found.